Do you need more Self Love in your life?

published on: 12/28/17 8:31 AM

So,  a friend of mine came over last week for a catch up -as we got talking I started to feel that she needed some energy healing to help her shift some of her emotional blocks which seemed to be manifesting in her digestive system; as she was experiencing pain and discomfort in her stomach area. She seemed stuck in relation to a particular relationship.  

Pay attention to your body

Our bodies communicate to us unresolved emotions that have become blocked within us and that need releasing in order to heal before we can move on. I began to feel that my friend needed to ‘let go’ of something and ‘digest’ (work through) it, and it felt like ‘fear’ was stopping her.

Temporary Fix

She’d already recently recognised patterns of co-dependency in her life. This is when we rely on external factors to create a sense of our identity. Our happiness becomes defined by others approval which gives us reassurance. This might be through attaching ourselves to relationships with others, or through behaviours that become a bit addictive i.e. relying on substances (cigarettes/drugs/alcohol), overworking, excessive exercise, spending money for no reason – all these things give us a quick fix, ‘validate’ us for a short period of time, but don’t get to the core issue.

What happens if the other person can’t ‘validate’ you or give you the reassurance you need in that moment? This causes anxiety, insecurities and creates doubt . 

The Ugly Bits 

In the absence of the external factors (which are just like putting on a temporary plaster on a wound) you will be left with YOURSELF, your INNER FEELINGS and your INNER THOUGHTS.  This can make people feel really uncomfortable to the point it can feel scary for some. It’s coming face to face with yourself, including the ugly bits perhaps; regret, guilt, shame, insecurities – all these unresolved emotions that get stuck deeply with you, cause blocks to true happiness- but those that you CAN free yourself from. 

Be Honest With Yourself

It was not long until my friend was on my Reiki Couch and I gave her a full treatment, the energy in the room shifted – it felt like a breakthrough, from ‘avoidance’ to ‘acceptance’.  Upon reflection my friend knew that the only way to move through her current stuckness was to re-connect to herself and learn to love herself and not seek this from others. She kind of knew this anyway, but our meeting gave her confirmation.  

Ready To Dive In?

Sometimes we need to just dive right in. We spend far too much time dipping our toes in, or just treading water, contemplating change but not doing much about it and this can be very tiring and dissatisfying. Of course you may feel you need tools to help you once you have dived in to keep you safe, so the preparation is important too.  

I Get It

Reflecting back on my own journey where I had to do exactly this I can really relate to the avoidance, the to-ing and fro-ing, the conflict between ‘shoulds and musts’ versus ‘true desires, inline with the true self’, compromising for the benefit of others, becoming submissive and ‘losing my voice’ to keep the peace (as most women somehow slip into doing) -but it surprised me that it happened to me. 

Deep down I knew that I was so much more, with the potential of even more but in order to achieve this I may have to leave certain relationships and situations behind, as if these did not evolve with me they would continue to hold me back.

The only way is ‘in’

In 2017, I had to turn more inward than I ever have had to (and trust me as therapists we go ‘within’ by default – but this felt like another ‘layer’). I had to be really honest with myself, get deeper into meditation to gain clarity – figure out who I was again. I realised I was ‘hiding’ and instead allowing particular others to ‘mould’ me into what they wanted – I was like when did this happen? Some things are so subtle, it is hard to recognise them.  

Change Your Core Beliefs 

The underlying realisation for me during this (what ended up being a  massive and accelerated awakening) was to begin to believe that  ‘I deserve happiness’ and that ‘I do matter’. By believing it, you begin to allow it – you accept it, you shift your energy and anything that does not match your vibration does not feel right anymore.  

That’s Where SELF LOVE Comes Into it

How can you reach this point? By learning to love, honor and respect yourself – raise your vibration – realise that ‘Love’ is actually the bottom line. I know this might sound really cheesy – I get that! We have been conditioned by society in such a way that the concept of Love and Self Love is somewhat distorted, but it is actually so simple and pure. 

21 Day SELF LOVE Challenge – Starts 1st January 2018

After my friend left, I was even more inspired to get the message of Self Love out there, experiment with the concept, get a sense of how people see it. So I decided to create a 21 Day Self Love Challenge in Januray, starting from the 1st.

Why not enter 2018 exploring Self Love -by learning to love yourself; being kind and compassionate towards yourself. 

I have had some really interesting feedback from people about Self Love. I am intrigued to know your thoughts too. 

I would love to know that when you think of Self Love – what is the first thought/feeling you associate with the word?  What does Self Love mean to you? Comment below, or message me separately. 

Thank you – hope you can make the 21 Day Self Love Challenge – click HERE to join. 

Make 2018 about loving yourself 🙂 


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