published on: 01/25/16 11:42 PM
How can ‘talking’ help?
It’s always interesting to hear ‘talking doesn’t change anything’ ‘why drag up the past?’.
These are valid questions that people have and I guess it can help to flip the question around to give a different perspective, ‘what could happen if you didn’t talk or express your feelings?’
My initial responses to this question are:
Emotions might manifest physically causing headaches, stomach problems, insomnia, rashes & unexplained illnesses.
Feelings may build up and present themselves through agitation, stress and overwhelming emotions.
Day to day tasks and responsibilities might feel like too much.
Imagine if you could alleviate some of these feelings, how would that feel? Wouldn’t it be great if your headaches reduced or even stopped, or if you didn’t get wound up that easily anymore and as a result your relationships were better?
The idea of ‘free association’ comes from Freud, who believed that if we ‘freely talk’ we can start to become aware of underlying feelings. Even though these may not have been conscious prior to therapy, they most likely have been causing difficulties in your life without you even realising.
You may suddenly become aware of the reasons why you struggle to be assertive in your relationships for example. Maybe in the past your needs weren’t prioritised by others so you’ve learnt to become a ‘people-pleaser’. Counselling can really empower you to break such patterns that have become the norm but aren’t necessarily emotionally healthy for you. You can start to think about your own needs (as well as others!) by coming to counselling.
You might be reading this and wondering ‘why not just talk to a good friend, why a counsellor?’
It’s absolutely not necessary to talk through feelings with a counsellor, what’s important is to find positive healthy ways to express them. A cuppa and a chat with a friend might really benefit you in some ares of your life, however there might be particular things you’d rather share with a professional in confidence.
If you are not sure about counselling, then I offer an initial appointment at a reduced cost which gives you the opportunity to find out more about counselling and how it could help with your personal circumstances. You can find out more here FAQ’s